Anyway, we called Kaptain Kale.
CITIZENS! HEED ME! Have you all gone mad? Deaf? Mad? I have stated time and again that you must EAT KALE OR BE DESTROYED and yet you continue to believe that you can survive the all butter diet! FOOLS! Sweetbreads for breakfast? MADNESS!
DID YOU NOT SEE ME ON LENO? I SAT ON JACK BLACK!
I have tried every method conceivable to get you to eat more kale! I have said it! I have sang it! I have Riverdanced it! WHEN WILL YOU HEED ME?!?
Kale is easy to prepare! I enjoy it raw with a little salt, pepper, lemon juice, chopped carrots and extra virgin olive oil. EVOO?!? YOU WERE INSTRUCTED TO LEAVE THE ROOM!!!
Citizens, you must put down your ice cream spoons and raise your kale forks in good health! Have you no respect for Wilford Brimley's valiant sacrifice when he dragged Paula Deen into the microverse?!? HAVE YOU?!?
|No Diabeetus Shall Defeat Us|