Saturday, August 25, 2012

Food Blog o' the Week: Fuck You Yelper



Back when I was doing FBotW regularly I'd meant to feature this blog. It cracked me up and the bloggers understood the difference between a deserved bad review and an unwarranted slam. However, Fuck You Yelper hadn't been updated in some time and I'd decided that I wasn't going to steer people to some carcass of content no matter how great. Well, Fuck You Yelper is back ...


... and not a moment too soon.

I'd started Yelpless because I couldn't find anything active as good as Fuck You Yelper, but unfortunately I can only read so many Yelp reviews before I start to think of all humanity as fetid bags filled with douche, bullshit, entitled whining and barely literate cliches. It was the road to madness. How do you give one star to a restaurant you've never set foot in? How do you hold racist comments by your fellow diners against the restaurant? How do you hate a bar because the clientele is older than you? How do you give one star to a restaurant because they towed your car out of a clearly marked "No Parking" area? You do it because you're an asshole. You think nothing of doing it because you're an entitled asshole. Yelpers make me want to buy Kaczynski's old Unibomber shack, rock a hoodie, and write a manifesto in my own blood on tree bark while I shit in a hole in the dirt. Yes, really.

Welcome back Fuck You Yelper. I'm glad that there is another curator of douchebaggery out there, sparing me some misanthropy and delivering gems like "The hotdogs are to thick ! Yuck oh Yuck! Happy Farts!".

I'll race you to the shit hole.