Time Tables: A Culinary Chronicle Part One of Two

The Thingamafridge in Earth Orbit
One evening while rummaging and routing through my kitchen seeking a balm for my peckishness I was visited by a strange fridge. Just like *THAT* there was a second fridge where before there had been only one. I had neither needed or wanted a second fridge, and certainly not the relic that stood before me, but when I opened the door on the additional fridge I was impressed with the amount of storage in the thing and considered giving my original fridge the old "heave ho". Not exactly a "walk in" the new fridge, or "superior fridge" as I'd come to think of it, was more of a crawl in so in I went to survey the depths of its vast chilling capacity.

Once inside I met a strange man in a strange scarf. I demanded to know exactly how many eggs I would be able to store in the door of such an immense fridge. He made a silly noise and offered me a "jelly thingy" and a weekend of adventure through time and space revisiting some of my favorite food moments.

"Adventure, yes," I told the odd fellow, "jelly thingy, no."

"Very well, then," he winked, "just get in the fridge and we're off like a hat in the wind! We can visit any meal you like with anyone you'd like. Anywhere at all at any time! Time? Space? Reservations?Inconveniences, begone!"

"What's this all about," I asked him.

"I don't eat as such," he told me, "but I need to understand eating which I shall do by watching you eat."

And off we went in the phantasmagorical contraption he called his "Thingamafridge".


"Amazing," I said, "I was stuffed full a second a go and now I'm hungry for more."

"Don't get all Bourdain on me," he said, "it's part of the appetite dampening field produced by the temporal flux matrix of the Thingamafridge. You'll get used to it."

"Well then, I need something spicy. Let's go!"

"Well," he said, "this is a bit cheeky."

"Heh," I chuckled, "you did say 'anything'."

"So I did. What's next?"

Drinks and Snacks: Mimosas and Samosas, Dosa Fillmore, SF, CA

"Well," my host said, "I suppose that we're conserving batteries on the old Thingo, staying in the same city and all."

"It runs on batteries?"

"Well ..."

"Fine, let's get out of SF for dinner. Way out."

"It hasn't changed in 20 years!" I marveled.

"That's because it's twenty years ago," he said, "enjoy!"

Dessert: A Glass of  Tokaji Eszencia, Riverhorse, Park City, Utah

"Hm. I'd like something that isn't exactly food."

"Well, let's be off then," he said.

"Is this ... cough ... really necessary?" He asked.

"For me it is. Thanks for sticking around."

"Cough ... don't mention it."


I'd grown weary of my host's company and decided to enjoy a light morning repast with my darling wife in one of our favorite places.

My next guest was a best friend. She knows who she is.

Nothing like a day at the ball park with my family.

Drinks and Snacks: Salt and Pepper Shrimp, Bartender's Choice, Frank Fat's, Sacramento

"Those look good," my host inquired, "are they good?"

"They're crack."

"I'm not sure that I ..."

"They're good."

Dinner: Something Sparkling, Beets and Fresh Fish, I'O, Maui

I couldn't dream of returning to I'O without my wife. We had another lovely date.

Supper: Black Maple Hill Manhattan, Foie Gras, Sweetbreads, Rare Ribeye and a bottle of Sommelier's Choice, Harris' Steakhouse, SF, CA

When I lived in San Francisco, most of my birthday dinners were had a Harris'. This time out my host and I rounded up everyone who had ever attended one of those great celebrations. I'm not sure how my host managed to book the whole dining room, but I was too busy enjoying the food and company to ask.

Dessert:  3 Twins Vanilla Bean, a slice of Mexican Chocolate Pie, Chile Pies and Ice Cream, SF, CA

A much-needed date with my wonderful daughter. We laughed a lot.

It was time for a little catching up with the boys. Some of my fishing buddies and I in our favorite haunt with our favorite bartender at 6,200 feet.

For this I rounded up the rest of the boys. The matrix-whatsis of the Thingamafridge worked wonders with hangovers too, thankfully.


I love fresh. I love eggs benedict, and I love the views from this grand resort. Wow.

Brunch: Champagne and Duck Leg Confit, Top of the Mark, SF, CA

I decided to run with the view idea for another meal. Oh, San Francisco how I love you.

Although it had been under the ownership of a different family for some time and had recently closed, the original Romitos was the pizza I grew up loving and has been the pizza against which every other pizza I've eaten has been compared. Somewhere in the middle of Chicago-Style and New York Style, just the mentioning of the name still brings back warm memories. I invited my wonderful mom along for lunch and reminiscing.

"California wine," my host asked, "here?"

"Whose adventure is this, anyway?"

My wife and I had a wonderful picnic and then we were off to dinner at our favorite restaurant. Fortunately, the there were changes of clothes aboard the Thingamafridge.

Having spent all of dinner discussing our daughter my wife suggested that our next meal be spent with her and I couldn't agree more. We picked Little Miss Wonderful up from Grandma's house and off we went.

Supper: A Glass of '08 Et Fille Pinot Noir, A Flannery Beef California Reserve "Jorge" Cut Ribeye Steak and Skate Wing Surf-and Turf Grilled on the Back Deck at Home


Supper: My Wife's Wonderful Christmas Goose Dinner

Decisions. Decisions.

"Oh, let's do both." I said.

"Can we?" My wife asked.

"Done." Our host said as he fiddled with his ridiculously long scarf.

Both meals were wonderful and to our delight we'd already prepared them in another time, and had cleaned up too, so all that remained to do was to enjoy ourselves.

"What about dessert, dad?" My daughter inquired.

"I have an idea."

Dessert: A Little of This. A Sampling of That. Club 33, Disneyland, Anaheim, CA

It was her birthday all over again. A splendid time was had by all. We even took in some rides. Our host's scarf flapped madly in the wind on Space Mountain.

"Almost time for me to be going," our host said as he un-tossled himself, "what's next?"

"My family is tired. Let's you and I hit a couple more spots and then you can be on your way."

"It's like we're on a ship! In a Hotel!" He shouted over the Tonga Room entertainers belting out Boogie Wonderland.

"Are those people performing on a raft? That's ridiculous!"

"You're ridiculous," I told him, "now, let's get that cigar."

"I'm turning green already," he said, placing his hand over his mouth.

"Well," my strange host said as I finished my last meal of our adventure, "that was a bit of fun. Listen, would you like to do one more day, only a little different this time?"

"I'm game."

"Very good. This time let's do some places you've never been. Only, I have to run a quick errand at the end of the world. Come along and then we'll get you on your way."

"The world ends?"

"Well ... not exactly."

And off we went again. As I shouted out possible destinations for our next adventure my host flipped switches and pulled levers. Producing a sound like house keys on piano wire, the Thingamafridge took us away to a very strange place, indeed. Check in tomorrow for part two of Time Tables: A Culinary Chronicle!

"Mrs. Butterface! Nooooooooooo!!!"

This post goes out to Doctor Who, its fans and everyone who has contributed to its wonder and longevity. Enjoy the season finale tonight on BBC America! I know all of Chowbacca will.


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