Faster, Fast Food! Kill! Kill!

The Legend
I was looking for fast thrills. I was looking for fresh kicks. I was looking to try something new, something NOW, baby! In-N-Out always hits the sweet spot with that Double Double Animal Style, but I was looking to explore this crazy burger world, man!

The Habit

I got a habit, see? I got a burger habit that just won't quit. And yeah, I want fries with that, man! The Habit understands me. The Habit picks up what I'm layin' down, cats. A Double Char with the works is what my habit CRAVES!

The Addiction
And Islands with that cr-aaaazy seasoning! I want THAT with FRIES, baby! Islands' fries are like crack WITHOUT secret seasoning. With it they're like some crazy double crack! I had to take some secret seasoning home. I put it on all my spuds, Jack! But park it next to a Big Wave with Cheese ... man, that's livin'.

Lunch O'Clock on Saturday. Where Is Everybody? Oh ... Right.

So, I'd heard a lot about these five cats ... these Five Guys and their burger scene from some swingers out on the East Coast. When I saw that Five Guys were coming into the Golden State I almost flipped my lid. How many great fast burgers can one cat groove on? I decided to give them a look under the hood and see what makes 'em roar.

I sure didn't have a problem getting in. It was lunch time on a Saturday. I knew that Islands and Habit would be packed and that In-N-Out would have long lines ... like, inside AND at the drive-thru. Hep cats and squares alike dig In-N-Out. Five Guys? They could have used five customers, cousin.

When my burger arrived it was pretty clear from bite one where it was happening. If I'd never tasted those other burgers I might have raised a flag for Five Guys too, but I have and I can't. Don't get me wrong, new burger on the block was good, and the choices of toppings should have helped them compete, but new burger can't hang with the classics Dig?*

Ciao, cats.

*Yeah, I know. Five Guys has 200+ locations in SoCal since 2011. Like I said, the burger at Five Guys was good, but a regularly empty store is telling; especially an empty store in a good location at a busy shopping center across from a packed Trader Joe's at lunchtime on a Saturday afternoon when the other three burger spots are booming. Five Guys may prove me wrong, but I have to wonder if their growth will continue or if their California location numbers are going to start dropping over the next couple of years. Sorry, Five Guys, In-N-Out is just better.


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