Monday, July 1, 2013

Is The Pathetic Channel Available?


Um, There's A Red Butt With A Twig In Your Logo.

I know. I spent a bunch of words telling you why the problems of one buttered-up racist diabetes-shilling millionaire huckster cook don't amount to a hill of black-eyed peas against a secret government's domestic spying. I know, but sometimes the Internet that the NSA is Hoovering, puns intended, just sticks a distraction in your face too comical to avoid.

As I posted on our Facebook page last night, the "got beat out by Food Network and haven't had the balls to compete" Food Channel is looking to gobble up the racist chum bucket demographic who are filling the comments sections of every article detailing Deen's latest sponsorship dumping with misused bible quotes, racist apologetics and ... well ... hate speech. You know, the "Paula's not the problem, Blacks are the problem" crowd that shout "shame on you" at each sponsor Deen loses but don't seem to have any shame theirselves.

Why would anyone want these yammering yokels? Well, it seems that while cable is dying in the face of streaming services the "hate that it seems like opportunism" Food Channel, who have owned the name since the '80s but have failed to produce an actual channel, have "a strategic plan for TV" ... thirtysomething years too late, Thirtysomething reference intended, and that plan involves getting Deen's howling, ignorant defenders as a ready-made viewership. Opportunism? No, sorry, that ship has sailed. Pathetic? Yep. You can smell the desperation in every pixel of their plea.

The only thing that might possibly be more amusing would be if one of the worst popular writers in history defended Deen. Oh, wait. She did. Butter with a side of Rice, anyone?