Sunday, August 4, 2013

The Cold, Cold, Cold Stone Hard Facts



Blurberry


Founded in 1988 by pro wrestler and floriculturist "Cold Stone" Steve Austin, "The Cryonic Man"*, Cold Stone Creamery serves up a teeny selection of bland, overpriced ice cream in baked cardboard cones for extortionate prices nationwide. You could get two scoops at Three Twins in Napa, a new kidney, or a pint of Ben & Jerry's for the price of this drek. Oh, and if you really want to put the "fun" in "expense" they'll put some Gummy Bears in your ice cream.

No, thanks, I don't want Gummy Bears swirled into my ice cream. If i find myself wanting Gummy Bears in my ice cream I'll stab my taste buds with a hot fork.

Toppings are cool. Nuts and cookies in ice cream are cool. Gummy Bears swirled into flavorless goop that melts as soon as you've paid for it is not cool.

Sorry, old-fashioned-y-marketed swill peddlers, for national ice cream chains I'll stick to Baskin-Robbins.

My Rating: 5/31 Flavors.

*Would you like to see my bridge? It's a pretty bridge. It's for sale.

SALTED CARAMEL AND OREOES FOR THE WIN!!!!